


Harrassment

by faorism



Category: Naruto, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crossover, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-12
Updated: 2010-08-12
Packaged: 2017-10-11 01:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/106924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faorism/pseuds/faorism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Bridge, Iruka noticed very early in his tenure to the <em>Konoha</em>, is always in chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harrassment

**Author's Note:**

> _Pairing and Genre:_ Kakashi/Iruka. Romance, Humor.
> 
> For kakairu's crossover challenge.

The Bridge, Iruka noticed very early in his tenure to the _Konoha_, is always in chaos. He had been part of several voyages in the past—none as long or prestigious as that aboard the most renown ship in the Fleet—and none were as busy and erratic and loud and wild as the _Konoha_ is at every moment of its existence. From his little, mostly uninterrupted corner, Iruka can block out some of the banter of his captain, head of sciences, and the chief of medicine (who, despite her post in the medical wing, always finds herself on the Bridge); but then there are times—

"I'm a doctor, Naruto; not a carpenter!"

Iruka sighs.

"Sakura! I'm just saying that it's not _my_ fault. You could have easily made a small—" A sound of a punch connecting brings a string of whines and _What about your oath to never do harm_ chants.

Iruka sighs once more, turning in his seat slightly, and as expected, the CMO looks ready to kill her captain. His eyes hovering for just a moment longer over the scene that the rest of the crew managed to ignore, Iruka considers if he should interrupt... for the hundred twenty-first time (and yes, he did keep count). Sometimes, being head of communications does not only mean handling the interactions between the ship and the rest of the galaxy, but being a sort of sitter for the much younger trio was not what Iruka had signed up for...

"Hn." Naruto's attention is called and all that runs through Iruka's head is a cry, for the love of Sol, that the troublesome Vulcan does not get invo— "Your overtly childish displays are becoming a distraction to your fellow crewmen, myself included. It will be best if you ceased your behavior immediately. Also, usage of Doctor Haruno's first name denotes a lack of professionalism that I doubt fits to the regulations of—"

"Hey, hey, hey. I am always, one-hundred percent mature—"

"It is impossible to be one-hundred percent of anything so abstract..." Iruka can feel the smirk that Sasuke does not allow himself to pull. "_Captain_."

And just as Iruka readies himself for an hour devoted to the illogical yelling of the captain and the sardonic prodding of a Vulcan who should know better, a voice laced with lackluster derision spoke out. "Now, Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura... that will be enough. I cannot concentrate on my reading with you three bickering so."

And just like that, the tension between the three disperses. Iruka relaxes somewhat, pressing this and so button, but before he can glance at the causer of the sudden peace, his captain bursts, "Your 'reading?' Reading... You mean your dirty books! Porn, on my Bridge! Brought up by my first officer!"

("...The obsession Kakashi has with his books is rather unhealthy... Might need a trip to Sickbay.")

"And I've banished it time and time, but you still bring it up here!"

"I find that I must agree with you for once, Uzumaki. It is most undignified, and even more so for one with Vulcan in his blood, no matter how little the percentage it may be."

"It's always about the blood with you! Kakashi is a valued member of my staff—"

"—who is indeed only a quarter Vulcan. Hn. I do not see how my comment is in any way inaccurate or leading to an offense."

"You are an absolute and utter—"

Iruka stops paying attention after that, but he does hear the exasperated sigh a few feet to his left. He hazards a look sideways only to catch Kakashi—quarter Vulcan yet still fair-haired and always with a happy tilt to his eyes that Iruka now knows is not a clever mask—smiling at him. Although he should not be shocked to see such an expression on the first officer's face, the honesty in Kakashi's eyes causes a sudden rush of uncomfortable comfort within Iruka's stomach. He doesn't understand it, but he doesn't want it, of all times, now. Iruka shakes his head absently, returning his attention back to the controls. Partway through a simple test, Iruka stops as a warmth is pressed to his shoulder.

"Hello, Kakashi. Is there anything that you need?"

"I tried," Kakashi says low enough that only Iruka (and perhaps Sasuke) hears.

Iruka does not need to ask of what the other referenced, whispering "I know" back. Seen from the corner of his eye, Naruto, his face flushed and a fierce look in his eyes, stands with only a few inches separating him for Sasuke. Sakura manages to hold the captain back, but Iruka cannot tell if the one she appears to be scolding is Naruto or Sasuke... or both.

"If it is truly bothering you, I can make them stop."

_Yes, please..._ "They're young and full of explosive personalities. The best us old folks can do is hope for the best." Kakashi casually reaches over and fiddles with a dial and two switches that won't do anything but give him an excuse to stay longer. "It does get on my nerves though. I cannot wait for shore leave."

"Myah, Iruka." Kakashi leans even closer and the warmth is still at Iruka's shoulder. "If you need relaxing, there is no need to wait another, what was it, fifty-eight point two three five days."

"Oh? How long will I have to wait?"

"Alpha shift ends in an hour and twenty point seven minutes." The warmth... "There is always then."

Iruka completes a series of button-pushes and knob-turnings. "And then what?"

The warmth tightens. "I am sure you can use your imagination to come up with something that will amuse and relax you."

"Chess?"

"No."

"Food?"

"No."

"Reading over files?"

"No."

A touch to Kakashi's hand and a smirk. "Perhaps some time with you?"

"Hmm..." Kakashi is even closer. "I think that would be most pleasurable, don't you—"

"KAKAKSHI,"—Iruka has to mindfully keep himself from groaning; Kakashi brings his hands behind him as he faces his captain.—"STOP HARRASSING MY CHIEF COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER."

And then there is a sound of a punch connecting that brings a string of curses and _What did I say?_ chants.

Then a short explanation of "not getting involved with certain things" from Sakura.

Then a bewildered question from Naruto that results with a snide from Sasuke.

Then an exaggerated response from Naruto, an annoyed response from Sakura, and a calm but oh-so condescending remark from Sasuke.

There are times that Iruka wonders why—_why_—with all that is good and right with the galaxy, he ended up with this crew of misfits. Why he hadn't just gone on in his previous mission—why he allowed himself to be tempted by the honor for and possibilities of learning by working on the _Konoha_. He wonders why, but as he watches the familiar fight between his captain, the CMO, and a Vulcan who should know better, warmth tinges his heart, because, at the corner of his eye, he can see an honest smile that reminds him why he stays.


End file.
